In order to move from reactivity to integrity in relationships, recovering addicts/alcoholics need to remain connected to their courage, truth and power without being consumed by another. Although many attend 12 Step meetings, the concepts of the 12 Steps do not translate to their personal relationships. This workshop will provide a di erent perspective about how we allow ourselves to become pulled away from our sense of self instead of allowing the ‘best’ of ourselves to come to forward in relationships. Drawing on the work of Gottman, Schnarch, Perel and others, this lecture will move beyond the description of the problem and show a new paradigm of relational recovery. Rokelle will identify the myths of relational recovery and demonstrate speci c tools that will enhance di erentiation, self-esteem and integrity in relationships. It will discuss how intergenerational attachment patterns are re-enacted in adult relationships and what skills are needed to interrupt destructive patterns, as well as demonstrating the use of mindfulness in couple’s therapy.